Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
