i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
