bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
