just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
