I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
