Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
