we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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