where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
