What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
