this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
