he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
