Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
