bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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