I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
