this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
