"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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