What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
