Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
