the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
