Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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