I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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