none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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