She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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