Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize