Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
