Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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