I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
