I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
