Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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