Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
