dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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