who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
