I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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