i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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