If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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