Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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