im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
