I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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