My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
