I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
