Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
