You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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