Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
