I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
