An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize