did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
