I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
