I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
