You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize