He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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