he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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