Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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