So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
