If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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