I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
