I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
