White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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