You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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